I wanted to show you all of my amazing purchases that I made while flying through the air at 39,000 feet. It was just a miracle to have discovered Skymall magazine while on board as I would have been SO bored otherwise (I live to shop!). Who knew they would have so many amazing products that I needed all in one catalog! Here's a list of what I purchased:
The Facetrainer by No!No! (yea that's right, No!No!)
This is just a fantastic product that I can use daily to train my face. I am looking SO old these days and was just about to come home and get 600 shots of Botox but then I discovered this gem. I will get started on my exercises tomorrow. If it works well, I may just wear it all the time.
I have been getting so sick of all of my boring, practical floor lamps. Just before I picked up the catalog I was thinking, 'If only I could find a black floor lamp that is also a sculpture that is in the shape of a stylish woman'. Then, just like magic, here she is! She looks amazing with my 1980s modern Weekend at Bernie's decor.
Ever since swine flu and SARS, I cannot be without my hand sanitizers, gloves and white dust mask. This handy gadget takes my cleanliness to a whole new level. It can remove all germs from a 10 foot radius around me. I use it while I'm at the grocery store, at the dentist and my best friends all use it to remove their crabs! AMAZING.
Biggest loser? Where? Not here!! This amazing machine gets me to and from work and I look good doing it. I got a hot pink ETX 8R and I couldn't be happier. I've even managed to lose an 1/8th of a pound already. If I combine this with the Hollywood Cookie Diet I'll be one sexy lady in no time!
And finally, I just HAD to purchase this incredible chair. Let's face it, I'm short. When I go to rock and roll and new country concerts I just can't see for shit! If I'm at the movies or a hockey game I might as well be blind because of my midget body. Well my friends, that's all about to change. Now when I sit in my ramalamadingdong sports chair I can see over even the most famous basketball players. I can see over the statue of liberty AND the CN Tower at the same time all while my feet sway freely through the air because they cannot reach the ground. This is just pure genius and I just wish I had invented it so I'd make enough money to get leg extension surgery in China.
So there you have it. I could have spent SO much more at the Skymall but I had to limit myself. I will be saving up to buy a few more things though, including these gorgeous sculptural king crab chairs.
2 comments:
Crab chairs? No friend, that's clearly a vagina eating itself.
I didn't know people ever bought stuff from that catalogue! haha...sounds like you had an interesting flight :)
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